They're how we view the world - and why we can't agree
What's the issue?
It's fairly likely that at some point you've looked around at the sea of miscommunications, arguments, hatefulness, and distrust that surrounds political discussions and asked yourself how we got to this point. Why are people so willing and ready to defend their beliefs to the point of conflict? The reason lies within ourselves: every one of us holds certain values that shape the way we see and navigate the world. If we start to believe that our values are threatened, our defensiveness can quickly turn combative. And in today's world, we are constantly exposed to seemingly competing values.
How do we handle a conversation with someone who appears to hold a completely different values system?
How can I address this issue?
Handling Out-Group Values
We encounter differing values on a day-to-day basis. While geographical distances and cultural barriers used to prevent us from engaging frequently with such differing values, the interconnectedness of modernity has exposed us to many different worldviews - some seemingly in conflict with our own. We must remember that as important as our own values are to us, others' are just as important to them:
Enter into conversations willing to learn about others' perspectives. You will never be able to fully understand why someone believes the things they do without understanding how their background has influenced the way they see the world.
Show that you understand that your worldview is not the same as everyone else's by explicitly stating this.
Explain how your own upbringing/background shapes your beliefs, and indicate that you are willing to try and understand how theirs does as well.
Do not assume anyone else's experience, even if you come from a similar cultural/religious/ethnic/etc. background. People can have vastly different experiences within the same grouping.
Finding Common Ground
Even as you try to understand someone else's perspective and how their experiences have shaped their own value system, it can be difficult to do so when their beliefs seem to directly contradict your own. However, it is likely that there is at least some form of common ground between your value systems that have, for whatever reason, manifested into differing beliefs. Finding these common values is integral to promoting productive discussion. Actively seek out and identify common ground between you and your discussion participants:
Look for aspects of their arguments that you agree with, and go from there. For example, an advocate for universal healthcare may hold the value of a government needing to ensure good quality of life for its citizens. If you, an opponent of socialized medicine, also hold this value but believe it should be implemented in a different way, connect with your conversational partner through this shared value first.
Even identifying shared interests and identity is a valuable way to connect with others and bridge the divide. Look for any areas of agreement or similarity and establish a connection; this will promote a willingness to understand and empathize.
The goal is to encourage viewing those you communicate with as partners in discussion, rather than opponents. You are working together to reach a shared understanding, and this is easier to do when you have areas of agreement to start from. You have more in common than you think.
Why is this a good skill/strategy to learn?
Shows goodwill toward your conversational partner(s)
Establishes pathos/understanding
Makes people feel like they don't need to be defensive of their beliefs, so more willing to share them
Encourages building conversational bridges rather than walls; discourages picking "sides"
Research
Glasford, Demis E. “Seeing Is Believing: Communication Modality, Anger, and Support for Action on Behalf of Out‐groups.” Journal of Applied Social Psychology 43.11 (2013): 2223–2230. Web.
Grevet, Catherine, Loren Terveen, and Eric Gilbert. "Managing Political Differences in Social Media." Proceedings of the 17th ACM conference on Computer supported cooperative work & social computing: 1400-1408.
Thomas, Clive. “Lobbying in Washington, London, and Brussels: The Persuasive Communication of Political Issues.” Journal of public affairs 7.2 (2007): 212–203. Web.
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